Why do people insist on doing stupid things?

First of all, a belated happy new year to the twelve of you who are reading this, even though I have probably mentioned this to you in person.  Anyway, I have not been blogging for a while due to mock exams and that thing called Christmas.  

Back to something relevant. Last night at fourteen minutes past nine, somebody decided what they really wanted to do was fire up their lawnmower and start cutting the grass. To say I was baffled by this lunacy is an understatement. Is the chap’s life so complete that instead of watching primetime television he decides to cut the grass in the back garden? Admittedly, the types of programmes on the television isn’t very appealing to a forty-something man, but I suspect that it would have been more interesting than mowing the grass in near-arctic conditions.

Oh and puh-lease do not start me on the racket the four cc engine made. It sounded like a wasp had been trapped in a cake tin. Actually, all lawnmowers sound like that, and generally, I do not mind it during the day. After all people need to cut the grass and I don’t have a problem with people cutting the grass, its just when people decide to cut the grass at nine o clock at night then I’m afraid, but it is a stupid idea and the person in question should be shot.

 Before the lunatic decided to fire up his lawnmower, all you could hear was the sound of birds. In other words, it was a nice peaceful evening, and then this blithering idiot decided what he really wanted to do was ruin the tranquillity of a nice winter’s evening. Again, I question why he decided to do this. I can think of no logical reason why somebody would decide to cut the grass at quarter past nine at night.

To stop this happening again, I propose a new law where lawnmower engines are not allowed to be run between 6.00pm and 9.00am. That way, then everybody – because I am fairly sure that other residents do not appreciate nighttime lawn mowing by a chap who has no social life whatsoever and considers nighttime lawn mowing as a sensible pastime to occupy him before his bedtime.  I cannot see a problem with this idea of mine, and I suspect that my fellow neighbours would not have a problem with the curfew. The only person who would have a problem with this plan is the chap who enjoys his nighttime lawn mowing, but seriously, who cares about his pastimes? Exactly.

I suppose that if the curfew is successful, where I live, it could be rolled out throughout the rest of the great and good Nation. Remember, our good friends, the Germans have a law prohibiting the use of noisy things during the night and early mornings. Ignore the bit about the Germans inventing this law; I invented the law and the Germans simply nicked it. Of course, the law would allow supercars to make a lot of noise whenever they like, as there is nothing like waking up to the lovely sound of Italian exotica in the morning.

So there we go then folks. Daniel Puddicombe coming to the rescue of common sense once again. I will endeavour to blog more often than I have done before so then you, dear reader can read about my ploys into defending the rarity that is becoming common sense. I mean, forty years ago, would someone be stupid enough to mow the lawn during the night? I suspect the answer is ‘no’.

In addition, on that lawnmower shell, I will finish this blog post and say that I will be back soon. There you go.

-Dan.